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The graph below gives information about World Oil production in four countries between 1960 and 200.

The graph below gives information about World Oil production in four countries between 1960 and 200. 0aXG3
The Line graph illustrates the persentage of world oil production in four country between 1960 and 2000. It is, overall, aparent that Oil production in each countries incresed during the period. It is also noticable that Middle East show a dramatic rice in terms of accessing the in oil production in the finel year. In 1960, arount is percent of Africa people used the oil product compered other country users, stood at 15 million and 30 million respectively. In the finel year, the figure for Africa rose by 25 million (from 15million to 40 million). On the other hand, with regards the North America users from the oil shows a rapidly increase of 20 million, while although Oil utilizing in Asia was slightly lower than that of Americans in the first year.
The Line graph illustrates the
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persentage
of world
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oil
production in four country between 1960 and 2000. It is,
overall
,
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aparent
that
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Oil
production in each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "country"?
countries
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incresed
during the period. It is
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
noticable
that Middle East
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a dramatic rice in terms of accessing the in
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oil
production in the
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finel year
. In 1960,
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arount
is percent of Africa
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the
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oil
product
Did you mean the verb "compared" or the noun "compèred" (master of ceremonies)?
compered
other country users, stood at 15
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million
and 30
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million
respectively
. In the
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finel year
, the figure for Africa rose by 25
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million
(from
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15million
to 40
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million)
.
On the other hand
, with regards the North America users from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a
You used an adverb ('rapidly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
rapidly increase
of 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, while although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Oil
utilizing in Asia was
slightly
lower than that of Americans in the
first
year.

IELTS academic The graph below gives information about World Oil production in four countries between 1960 and 200.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
132 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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