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The diagram illustrates the whole process of making instant noodles

There are some people who considers advertisement in an powerful weapon to persuade people and sale the products when a notable section of the society things it is not that much appealing right now to draw public attention to sale items. On the one hand, advertisement is most powerful method for the marketing and it’s being used for centuries. Advertisement industry itself is a great idustry where a significant amount of manpower are working and it’s getting bigger day by day. So, it is clearly making sense that advertisement is still poweful and it’s been able to persuade the customers to make the desire sale. Most of the mass people, for example, follow the advertisements before purchasing new items. In fact, they thing the best items are advertised most freequently on the top media. Moreover, advertisement is the best way to make familiar the new products to the targeted market. Something might not be familiar to the mass people without advertisement even though it could be the best of all. Here, ads may work perfectly to capture the market. Needless to say that face value has the power to persuade people to sale items when most of the ads agencies are using superstarts as an ads cast. On the ther hand, it is true that people are becoming more busy than the earlier period of times. Now people hardly get times to watch tv as well as they have spenty of options at the time of watching tv so they need not to see the ads to wastes their valuable time insead of watching other programes on different channels. However, these days advertisement techniques are not attracting the people because of less creativity. So, it is seen that mass people are purchasing their necessary things on onlinewhile they are getting less time to do traditional shopping watching ads and purchasing items according to that. In conclusion, advertisement is the best thing ever to make any products familiar in real world. Still, people feel the necessity of the ads and will be feeling so in the future. I am strongly supporting the the view that advertisement is the powerful thing ever to persuade the cunsumer and sale finally.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean “consider”? Alternatively, check whether the singular of ‘people’ should be used.
considers
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advertisement
in
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
powerful weapon to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
the products when a notable section of the society things it is not that much appealing right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to draw public attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
items.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is
Did you mean “the most”?
most
powerful method for the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
marketing and
it’s being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for centuries.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
industry itself is a great
Possible spelling mistake found.
idustry
where a significant amount of manpower are
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
working and
it’s getting bigger day by day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
clearly
making sense that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is
still
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
poweful and
it’s been able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persuade
the customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the desire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
. Most of the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
for example
, follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. In fact, they
Did you mean the verb “think”?
thing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are advertised
most
Possible spelling mistake found.
freequently
on the top media.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
familiar the new products to the targeted market. Something might not be familiar to the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
even though
it could be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
of all. Here, ads may work
perfectly
to capture the market. Needless to say that face value has the power to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
when most of the ads agencies are using
Possible spelling mistake found.
superstarts
as an ads cast.

On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
ther
hand, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming more busy than the earlier period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
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people
hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
as well
as they have
Possible spelling mistake found.
spenty
of options at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of watching tv
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they need not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the ads to wastes their valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Possible spelling mistake found.
insead
of watching other
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “programs”, the plural form of the noun ‘program’?
programes
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
channels.
However
, these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
techniques are not attracting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of less creativity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are purchasing their necessary things on
Possible spelling mistake found.
onlinewhile
they are getting less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do traditional shopping watching ads and purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
according to that.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
thing ever to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any products familiar in real world.
Still
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel the necessity of the ads and will be feeling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in the future. I am
strongly
supporting
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only “the” or “the” is left.
the the
view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is the powerful thing ever to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persuade
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
cunsumer
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
finally
.

IELTS academic The diagram illustrates the whole process of making instant noodles

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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