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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. NX90
The first =pie chart illustrated how energy is used in an average household in Australian while the second pie are presents the emissions of greenhouse gas caused by this consumption. Heating, water heating and the operation of other appliances account for the largest proportion in household energy consumption and emitting greenhouse gas. It is easily observed from the chart that heating is the activity consuming the most significant portion of household energy, over 40%. Taking the second position, there are nearly one-third of energy in households spent on water heating. 15% of household energy, equivalent to a half of tat for water heating is for running other appliances. Each activity, including refrigeration, lighting and cooling represent no more than 10% of the total energy. In comparison with the data of household energy consumption, those of greenhouse gas emission follow a different pattern. heating water and the use of other appliances emit the highest amount of greenhouse gas, ranging from 28% to 32%. gas emissions from Australian family by activities, heating and refrigeration, are about 15% each. Finally, no more than 10% of gas emitting result from lighting and cooling.
The
first
=pie chart illustrated how
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energy
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in an average
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household
in Australian while the second pie are presents the emissions of
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greenhouse
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gas
caused by this consumption.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Heating
,
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and the operation of other appliances account for the largest proportion in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption and emitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
. It is
easily
observed from the chart that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
is the activity consuming the most significant portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, over 40%. Taking the second position, there are
nearly
one-third of
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energy
in
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households
spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
. 15% of
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household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, equivalent to a half of tat for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
is for running other appliances. Each activity, including refrigeration, lighting and cooling represent no more than 10% of the total energy.

In comparison
with the data of
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household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption, those of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
emission follow a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pattern.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
heating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of other appliances emit the highest amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
, ranging from 28% to 32%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
gas
emissions from Australian family by activities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and refrigeration, are about 15% each.
Finally
, no more than 10% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
emitting result from lighting and cooling.
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IELTS academic The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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