Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Here, we can see two charts. First one illustrates Australian household energy consumption and second one provides information about Australian household greenhouse gas emissions. If we look at the both charts, we can see that Australians consumes most of their energy on heating. On the other hand, most greenhouse gas emission happens because of water heating. Overall, the percentage of energy consumption on heating is 42% which is the highest. After that this rate is 30% on water heating. They use rest of 28% energy on cooling (2%), lighting (4%), refrigerator (7%) and other appliances (15%). Now, we should concentrate on the second chart. Here, water heating has the highest rate of greenhouse gas emission which is 32%. Other appliances have the second highest percentage with 28%. This rate is not that much high for other daily consumptions. For refrigerator this percentage is 14%, for heating 15%, for lighting 8% and finally for cooling 3% only. After concentrating these charts, we can say heating has the highest energy consumption rate and when it comes to greenhouse gas emission, water heating is in the first place.
Here, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
.
First
one illustrates Australian household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
and second one provides information about Australian household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
emissions.

If we look at the both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that Australians consumes most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
emission happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
heating.

Overall
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
is 42% which is the highest.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is 30% on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
rest of 28%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
on cooling (2%), lighting (4%), refrigerator (7%) and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
appliances (15%).

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, we should concentrate on the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
. Here,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
has the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
emission which is 32%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
appliances have the second highest percentage with 28%. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is not that much high for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
daily
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
. For refrigerator this percentage is 14%, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
15%, for lighting 8% and
finally
for cooling 3%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

After concentrating these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
, we can say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
has the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
emission,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
is in the
first
place.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
185 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts