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The figure shows demographic trends in Scotland.

The figure shows demographic trends in Scotland. eBLK
The given line graph illustrate the nativity, population growth and death rate in Scotland from 1940 to 2000. Firstly, Fertility and mortality had on peak in 1940 with 1. 5 to 2. 5 %. These two categories going percentage along side by side till 2003. But population rate reached on the point of Zero per cent and nativity rate in 2020 less than 1. 0 %. Secondly, In 1940, death rate started with 1. 5 percentage. It's rate decrease during the 60 years but suddenly it reached 1. 1 percent. Over all, this line graph decribes the 3 trends during the 80 years of demogharphic information of Scotland. All of these trends reached 1. 1 percentage in 2020
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrate the nativity, population growth and death
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rate
in Scotland from 1940 to 2000.
Firstly
, Fertility and mortality had on peak in 1940 with 1. 5 to 2. 5 %. These two categories going percentage
Did you mean "alongside"?
along side
by side till 2003.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
reached on the point of Zero per cent and nativity
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rate
in 2020 less than 1. 0 %.
Secondly
, In 1940, death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with 1. 5 percentage. It's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
decrease during the 60 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
suddenly
it reached 1. 1 percent. Over all, this line graph
Possible spelling mistake found.
decribes
the 3 trends during the 80 years of
Possible spelling mistake found.
demogharphic
information of Scotland. All of these trends reached 1. 1 percentage in 2020
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IELTS academic The figure shows demographic trends in Scotland.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
117 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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