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The diagram below show the stage of processing cocoa beans

The diagram below show the stage of processing cocoa beans POG2
the given flow chart illustrates how core carbons are perceived to obtain different products it can be clearly seen that there are three stages in the process from the initial whole beans to the final product in the market. in the first stage the whole pins are picked from the coconut tree after being picked their outer shell are mod and they are dried for the next stage II stage consists of many staff firstly the dried been are pressed some of this present beans are for the rest to make coca coca where is the rest refined to make industrial ko chocolate to which sugar is added. in the third and final stage the cooker cake is ground to make cocoa powder and liquid is also obtain the cocoa powder is sent to the market to be used by consumer where is the coca liquid is used in industry to make cakes and drinks the industrial co chocolate is sent for final processing after which is the funniest chocolate protect our final consumed by customer. overall there are three stages in the process of making different product from
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
flow chart illustrates how core carbons
are perceived
to obtain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
products it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there are three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
in the process from the initial whole beans to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
final
product in the market.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
the whole pins
are picked
from the coconut tree after
being picked
their outer shell are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mod and
they
are dried
for the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
II
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
consists of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use a plural noun after 'many' or use "staff members".
staff
firstly
the dried been
are pressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of this present beans are for the rest to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
Possible typo: you repeated a word
coca coca
where is the rest refined to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
industrial
Possible spelling mistake found.
ko
chocolate to which sugar is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the third and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
the cooker cake
is ground
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
cocoa powder and liquid is
also
Consider using a past participle here: "obtained".
obtain
the cocoa powder is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the market to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by consumer where is the coca liquid is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in industry to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
cakes and drinks the industrial co chocolate is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
final
processing after which is the funniest chocolate protect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
final
consumed by customer.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
there are three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
in the process of making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
product from

IELTS academic The diagram below show the stage of processing cocoa beans

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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