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The figure shows a cross-section of an erupting volcano

The diagram illustrates a survey on the various segments of a volcano eruption. Overall, it is noticeable that there were several fundamentally procedures in terms of an erupting volcano, commencing from magma chamber to just explosion. At the first of the process, magma is motivated by some interactions into the earth, and it climbed from the pipe that is regarded as the conduit, and after that it turned to two branches and emerged from the peak of the mountain. As for this issue, the lava come out from the throat, and reached to the summit. next, it flew on the mountain, while the ash cloud spread into the air. At the following procedure, some lava probably emerged from the parasitic cone of mountain as I mentioned nevertheless, the cone is appeared by the compound of the branch pipe. Given the issue, if lava flew on the surface of the mountain It would gather on the flank.
The diagram illustrates a survey on the various segments of a volcano eruption.
Overall
, it is noticeable that there were several
fundamentally
procedures in terms of an erupting volcano, commencing from magma chamber to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
explosion.

At the
first
of the process, magma
is motivated
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
interactions into the earth, and it climbed from the pipe that
is regarded
as the conduit, and after that it turned to two branches and emerged from the peak of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mountain
. As for this issue, the lava
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out from the throat, and reached to the summit.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
next
, it flew on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mountain
, while the ash cloud spread into the air.

At the following procedure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lava
probably
emerged from the parasitic cone of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mountain
as I mentioned
nevertheless
, the cone
is appeared
by the compound of the branch pipe.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the issue, if lava flew on the surface of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mountain
It would gather on the flank.
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IELTS academic The figure shows a cross-section of an erupting volcano

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
156 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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