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The bar chart shows the percentage of adults who were overweight or obese (too fat or much too fat) in one country from 1965 to 2015. The pie chart shows the proportion of adults who were overweight, obese or severely obese in2015.

The two diagrams below give in data overweight phenomena, in which the bar chart stands for adults who are overweight in percentage, while the pie chart indicates weight range of adults. As it’s clear obese adult’s population has growth during the indicated period, on the other hand the obese group claims a third of whole society which is the majority of the pie chart. At the first, to start from bar chart, it’s completely feasible the capture the fact that the society has become fatter and fatter among the 1965 to 2015, although it owns an stable state between 1965 and 1985. After that, it begins to rise gradually from 1995 to 2015. Finally, as going through the pie chart which is refereeing to weight range, the obese people have got the biggest cut which is a little over a third of the chart, and the severely fat and also healthy group are located in second and third place which have approximately a little under a third. ۲۳: ۳۶
The two diagrams below give in data overweight phenomena, in

which the bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
stands for adults who are overweight in percentage, while

the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
indicates weight range of adults. As it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
obese adult’s

population has growth during the indicated period,
on the other hand
the obese

group claims a third of whole society which is the majority of the pie chart.

At the
first
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start


from bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, it’s completely feasible the capture the fact that the society has

become fatter and fatter among the 1965 to 2015, although it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
stable

state between 1965 and 1985. After that, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
to rise
gradually
from 1995

to 2015.

Finally
, as going through

the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
which is refereeing to weight range, the obese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the

biggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
over a third of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, and the
severely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and

also
healthy group
are located
in second and third place which have approximately

a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
under a third. ۲۳: ۳۶
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows the percentage of adults who were overweight or obese (too fat or much too fat) in one country from 1965 to 2015. The pie chart shows the proportion of adults who were overweight, obese or severely obese in2015.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
168 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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