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the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. m1XXL
The graphs indicate the number of both foriegn and local students in Australian universities from 2001 to 2010. The left graph shows the total enrolments of overseas students and the number of overseas students who just started studying in Australian universities. Meanwhile, the right one shows the data of local students. According to the given graphs, foe the over ten years, the total enrolment of both groups of students kept increase in the first 6 years. However, starting from the seventh year, the total quantity of local students had remained at the same level, which is 600000 students each year, meanwhile, foriegn students' total number had kept its increasing momentum from 20000 students in 2001 to 80000 students in 2010. For the number of commencing students, overseas students's number kept increasing in the mentioned 10 years, from 15000 students in 2001 to 40000 students in 2009, only at the last year, their number remained the same, 40000 students. However, local students' commencing number had stayed on the same level for 10 year, the only significant increase happend in first year, slightly more then 200000 students in 2002, aftet that, it decrased back to arround 200000 students every year.
The graphs indicate the
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number
of both
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foriegn
and
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local
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students
in Australian universities from 2001 to 2010. The
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left
graph
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shows
the
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total
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
of overseas
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students
and the
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number
of overseas
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students
who
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just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
studying in Australian universities. Meanwhile, the right one
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shows
the data of
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local
students.

According to the
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given
graphs, foe the over ten years, the
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total
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
of both groups of
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students
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kept
increase in the
first
6 years.
However
, starting from the seventh
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year
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
quantity of
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local
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students
had remained at the same level, which is 600000
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students
each
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year
, meanwhile,
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foriegn
students'
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total
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number
had
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kept
its increasing momentum from 20000
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students
in 2001 to 80000
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students
in 2010.

For the
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number
of commencing
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students
, overseas
Did you mean "student's" or "students'"?
students's
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number
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kept
increasing in the mentioned 10 years, from 15000
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students
in 2001 to 40000
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students
in 2009,
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only
at the last
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year
, their
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number
remained the same, 40000
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students
.
However
,
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local
students' commencing
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number
had stayed on the same level for 10
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year
, the
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only
significant increase
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happend
in
first
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year
,
slightly
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
200000
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students
in 2002,
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aftet
that, it
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decrased
back to
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arround
200000
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students
every
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year
.

IELTS academic the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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