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The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. 7aPP3
The diagram shows the production procedure of carbonated drinks, in another term, soft drinks. There are five stages. On stage 1, raw water will first go through a filter, tiny stuff such as rocks and sand will be removed by the filter. Then, after the filtering process, it will be delivered a tank where water softener and chemicals will be put into the water to kill germs and viruses. On stage 2, after the water cleaning process, a pump will pump it to the electric heaters where it will go through the heating evaporation process. It will become steam and leaving the water softener and chemicals that were put into the water at the stage 1. The steam will go through the cooling pipe and become water again in the carbonator where carbon dioxide will be added into the water. On stage 3, after the carbonation procedure, the carbonated water will go into the mixing tank where ingredients for colouring, syrup and flavouring will be mixed with it and become the liquid what we call soft drinks. On stage 4 and the last stage the liquid product will be added into bottles or cans through a filter, then bottle drinks and can drinks will be packed into boxes and delivered to supermarkets.
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the production procedure of carbonated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
, in another term, soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
. There are five stages.

On
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stage
1, raw
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water
will
first
go
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through
a filter, tiny stuff such as rocks and sand will
be removed
by the filter. Then, after the filtering process, it will
be delivered
a tank where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
softener and chemicals will
be put
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to kill germs and viruses.

On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
2, after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
cleaning process, a pump will pump it to the electric heaters where it will go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the heating evaporation process. It will become steam and leaving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
softener and chemicals that
were put
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
1. The steam will go
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through
the cooling pipe and become
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water
again in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
carbonator
where carbon dioxide will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
into the water.

On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
3, after the carbonation procedure, the carbonated
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water
will go into the mixing tank where ingredients for
Possible spelling mistake found.
colouring
, syrup and
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavouring' is British English.
flavouring
will
be mixed
with it and become the liquid what we call soft drinks.

On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
4 and the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
the liquid product will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
into bottles or cans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
a filter, then bottle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
and can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "drink"
drinks
will
be packed
into boxes and delivered to supermarkets.

IELTS academic The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
212 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.