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The drawings below show the process of desertification. Write a summary of the information. Select and report the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.

The drawings below show the process of desertification. Write a summary of the information. Select and report the main features, and make comparisons where necessary. bxqYg
The pictures show how the desertification occured by people. Firstly, the trees and grass is all over the forest because of rainfall. But after that people destroyed forest for their own benefit and they use that land for their animal feed and mad roof ti stay and through out the time population of people and their animal and hous had increased more. After that because if people increment and their hous the animal and farmer land also decreased. In next raine season has happened but there are not availablity of tree but there has only land without greenery and because of that exposed to full glare of sun has thrown into land and that reflects heat back into air. As result rural people has look for city. All in all, because of people personal use and their bad attitude for entertainment has occurred into desertification as well as they need to move out to rural area
The pictures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how the desertification
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "occurred", the past tense form of the verb 'occur'?
occured
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Firstly
, the trees and grass is all over the forest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of rainfall.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
after that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
forest for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
benefit and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
for their animal feed and mad roof ti stay and
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the time population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their animal and
Possible spelling mistake found.
hous
had increased more. After that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
increment and their
Possible spelling mistake found.
hous
the animal and farmer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
also
decreased.

In
next
Possible spelling mistake found.
raine
season has happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are not
Possible spelling mistake found.
availablity
of tree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
without greenery and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that exposed to full glare of sun has thrown into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
and that reflects heat back into air. As result rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
look for city.

All in all,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
attitude for entertainment has occurred into desertification
as well
as they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out to rural area

IELTS academic The drawings below show the process of desertification. Write a summary of the information. Select and report the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The drawings below show the process of desertification. Write a summary of the information. Select and report the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.