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The Divorce Rates in Two European Countries from 2011 to 2015

The Divorce Rates in Two European Countries from 2011 to 2015 MB2E9
As we can see, these charts of two countries from Finland and Sweden facilitate the information about the rate numbers of separating married couples between 2011 to 2015. Generally, the divorce rates for Sweden have risen in the first year and slightly dip in the following years. For instance, in 2011 the rate went from about 40% and a half and then soared toward to almost 50%. In other situations, the Finland numbers were gently steep down in 2011 to 2012 from nearly 40% and then headed to slightly more than 30%, while after that the percentage was going up to the rest of the periods. Particularly, both of them never reached below 30% rate. Turning to Finland, their scores were rising up after the dive, especially in 2013 it touched less than 40% and in the 2014 and 2015 the numbers placed were approximately less than 40%. Then, Sweden reduced the numbers by getting in the mid of 40% in 2013 and 2014 and for the last year striked less than 40%. Overall, Sweden has touched the highest number for breaking the marriage by hitting nearly 50%. Meanwhile, the lowest number awarded to Finland for scoring more than 30%.
As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, these charts of two countries from Finland and Sweden facilitate the information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of separating married couples
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2011 and 2015".
between 2011 to 2015
.
Generally
, the divorce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
for Sweden have risen in the
first
year and
slightly
dip in the following years.
For instance
, in 2011 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
went from about 40% and a half and then soared toward to almost 50%. In other situations, the Finland
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
were
gently
steep down in 2011 to 2012 from
nearly
40% and then headed to
slightly
more than 30%, while after that the percentage was going up to the rest of the periods.
Particularly
, both of them never reached below 30%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
. Turning to Finland, their scores were rising up after the dive,
especially
in 2013 it touched less than 40% and in the 2014 and 2015 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
placed were approximately less than 40%. Then, Sweden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
by getting in the mid of 40% in 2013 and 2014 and for the last year
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "struck", the past tense form of the verb 'strike'?
striked
less than 40%.
Overall
, Sweden has touched the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
for breaking the marriage by hitting
nearly
50%. Meanwhile, the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
awarded to Finland for scoring more than 30%.
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IELTS academic The Divorce Rates in Two European Countries from 2011 to 2015

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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