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number of male and female participation in the Olympics and number of participation

number of male and female participation in the Olympics and number of participation kbGre
The bar chart illustrates the number of both gender, female and male who were taking apart in Olympics, while the line graph shows the number of people who participants in it between 1924 and 2012 all overs the world. It is immediately obvious that although the number of people who entered Olympics increased dramatically, the number of women and men who take apart in the Olympic rose sharply too. At first glance it is evident that not only the number of female accounted for a little over O in 1924 but also it was in marked contrast to the number of male in the same year, in other words the number of men was 3 times more than women in 2012 that was the year in which the firs Olympic began. Beside there was a participating growth by near 5000 during 18_year old period. 2012 experiensed a sharp improvement in the number of men and women in Olympics, while the number of men was still over as high as women which stood at just under 6000 and 5000 respectively. With regard to the number of all the participants it can be seen that the number of athlete reached a high of just over 2000 to about over 6000 from 1924 to 1984 and then increased sharply again from just about 6000 to approximately 10000 in 2012 which was entirely diffrent from the number of people who entered in Olympics at first year from it began.
The bar chart illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of both gender, female and male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were taking apart in Olympics, while the line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
participants in it between 1924 and 2012 all
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overs
the world.

It is immediately obvious that although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
entered Olympics increased
dramatically
, the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
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men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
take apart in the Olympic rose
sharply
too.

At
first
glance it is evident that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
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number
of female accounted for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
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over
O in 1924
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it was in marked contrast to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male in the same
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year
,
in other words
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
was 3 times more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in 2012 that was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in which the firs Olympic began. Beside there was a participating growth by near 5000 during
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18_year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
period. 2012
Possible spelling mistake found.
experiensed
a sharp improvement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in Olympics, while the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
was
still
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over
as high as
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women
which stood at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 6000 and 5000
respectively
.

With regard to the
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number
of all the participants it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
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number
of athlete reached a high of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
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over
2000 to about
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over
6000 from 1924 to 1984 and then increased
sharply
again from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 6000 to approximately 10000 in 2012 which was
entirely
Possible spelling mistake found.
diffrent
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
entered in Olympics at
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
from it began.
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IELTS academic number of male and female participation in the Olympics and number of participation

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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