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The diagrams show total global population between 1900 and 2000, and its proportions according to region.

The diagrams show total global population between 1900 and 2000, and its proportions according to region. 15Aen
This graph illustrates the global population from the year 1900 to 2000 along with with the regional proportional values in percentage. Overall, the populace has been significantly increased all over the world at the end of the period. In addition, the regional number in year is 1. 6billion at 2000 it reached to 6billion. In the year 1900 overall populace is below 2 billion and it slightly increased in 1920 then it drops down in 1930 to 1 billion people. Moreover, the population is not stable and its under 2billion though it has fluctuations until 1970. After that, the populace gradually increased to 6 billion in the period 2000. While looking for more details, In 1900, Asia and Europe had 60% and 25% of the world's population comparing to other countries, but both were decreased by 6% and 9% in 2000. Latin America and Africa had a little growth in 2000 to 8% and 10% compared to 1900 to 3% and 4%. Whereas, North America and other remains same in both the period with 5% and 3%. Middle East and North Africa were added in the year 2000 with overall population of 6%.
This graph illustrates the global
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population
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1900 to 2000 along
Possible typo: you repeated a word
with with
the regional proportional values in percentage.

Overall
, the populace has been
significantly
increased all over the world at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
In addition
, the regional number in
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year
is 1.
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6billion
at 2000 it reached to 6billion.

In the
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year
1900
overall
populace is below 2
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billion
and it
slightly
increased in 1920 then it
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "drops".
drops down
in 1930 to 1
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billion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is not stable and its under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
2billion
though it has fluctuations until 1970. After that, the populace
gradually
increased to 6
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billion
in the period 2000.

While looking for more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, In 1900, Asia and Europe had 60% and 25% of the world's
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population
comparing to other countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
both
were decreased
by 6% and 9% in 2000. Latin America and Africa had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
growth in 2000 to 8% and 10% compared to 1900 to 3% and 4%. Whereas, North America and other remains same in both the period with 5% and 3%. Middle East and North Africa were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000 with
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of 6%.
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IELTS academic The diagrams show total global population between 1900 and 2000, and its proportions according to region.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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