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The diagrams illustrate how a shopping mall called Happy Valley changed from 1982 to 2012.

The diagrams illustrate how a shopping mall called Happy Valley changed from 1982 to 2012. KWljN
The diagrams illustrate how a shopping mall called Happy Valley changed from 1982 to 2012. Overall, the area underwent a number of changes, the most important of which were the appearance of a parking space, the rearrangement of shops and the expansion of the shopping mall itself catering for the increase in shopping needs. In the South – West of the map, an area for parking was established at the expense of some trees and a path leading to the entrance of the shopping mall. To the North of the parking lot, there used to be a lake, but it was then demolished to make way for a furniture retail, which was originally a smaller shop selling the same products. The interior of the building also saw a few changes, with the disappearance of a small area for customers to wait behind the main entrance and the demolition of a coffee shop to the left of the entrance, which was accompanied by a minor shrink in the size of an area for recreational activities in the middle of the mall. In addition, the stores at the back of the first floor of the shopping mall were relocated, with the store for electronic devices and the shop for sports equipment being moved to the West of the recreation area, while the food store was put in the South – East of the building. By 2012, a restaurant complex was put into business near the food store, but no changes had been made to the lifts and the restrooms.
The diagrams illustrate how a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
called Happy Valley
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from 1982 to 2012.

Overall
, the
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area
underwent a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of which were the appearance of a parking space, the rearrangement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and the expansion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
itself catering for the increase in
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shopping
needs.

In the South
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
West of the map, an
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area
for parking
was established
at the expense of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trees and a path leading to the entrance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
. To the North of the parking lot, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a lake,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was then demolished to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for a furniture retail, which was
originally
a smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
selling the same products.

The interior of the building
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, with the disappearance of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
for customers to wait behind the main entrance and the demolition of a coffee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
of the entrance, which
was accompanied
by a minor shrink in the size of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
for recreational activities in the middle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
.
In addition
, the
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stores
at the back of the
first
floor of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
were relocated
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
for electronic devices and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
for sports equipment being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the West of the recreation
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area
, while the food
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store
was put
in the South
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
East of the building. By 2012, a restaurant complex
was put
into business near the food
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store
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
had
been made
to the lifts and the restrooms.
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IELTS academic The diagrams illustrate how a shopping mall called Happy Valley changed from 1982 to 2012.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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