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the diagrams below gives information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies

the diagrams below gives information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies 2brOJ
The diagram illustrates the different processes of the production line used to make fish pie. Overall, there are multiple steps involved in the making of fish pie. It starts with the fish which is cut and inspected by the in-charge then peas, sauce and potatoes are added to the container so that they can be packed before dispatch. Firstly, to make a fish pie a large number of potatoes are received which can be used up to one month. After the arrival of potatoes, these are cleaned and peeled in the machines, and waste is disposed of. These potatoes are now sliced and then boiled so that they can be cooled down and stored from the preparation of the fish pie. When the fresh salmon is received, it should be processed in less than 12 hours. This fish is treated with lemon juice and salt in the initial steps. After marinating, fish is cooked in-stream oven then skin and bones are removed by the workers and the inspector checks the quality of the fish. After approving the lot fish, peas, and sauce are mixing and topped with the layer of potatoes in the microwave-safe container. The final step is to pack and freeze the pie so that they are ready to be dispatch.
The diagram illustrates the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
processes of the production line
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
fish pie.

Overall
, there are multiple steps involved in the making of fish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with the fish which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
and inspected by the in-charge then peas, sauce and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potatoes
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the container
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
be packed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
dispatch.

Firstly
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a fish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potatoes
are received
which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up to one month. After the arrival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potatoes
, these
are cleaned
and peeled in the machines, and waste
is disposed
of. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potatoes
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
sliced and then boiled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
be cooled
down and stored from the preparation of the fish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
. When the fresh salmon
is received
, it should
be processed
in less than 12 hours. This fish
is treated
with lemon juice and salt in the initial steps. After marinating, fish
is cooked
in-stream oven then skin and bones
are removed
by the workers and the inspector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
the quality of the fish. After approving
If you mean a great quantity, use "the lot of fish"?
the lot fish
, peas, and sauce are mixing and topped with the layer of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potatoes
in the microwave-safe container. The final step is to pack and freeze the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are ready to be dispatch.
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IELTS academic the diagrams below gives information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
213 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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