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The diagrams bellows show the stages in the erosion of a headland

The diagrams bellows show the stages in the erosion of a headland EPoL
The diagrams bellow illustrates the stages of influence of water on weak rock areas, otherwise headland erosion. First of all, rock eroded area, hit by water, starts to destruct. After a long period of time the cave becomes arch and then a previously strong link just disappear. Finally, this process comes to the last stage when the divided area starts to lessen. The main consequence of that type of erosion is the decreasing of land square and water expansion. Moreover it lead to appearance of dangerous zones, which self-confident traveler can explode and as a result can be harmed or even killed by random avalanche. Summing up, the rock erosion process starts in little opening or roughness and can be very dangerous.
The diagrams bellow illustrates the stages of influence of water on weak rock areas,
otherwise
headland erosion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, rock eroded area, hit by water,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to destruct. After a long period of time the cave becomes arch and then a previously strong link
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
disappear.
Finally
, this process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the last stage when the divided area
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to lessen.

The main consequence of that type of erosion is the decreasing of land square and water expansion.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
it
Did you mean "leads"?
lead
to appearance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
zones, which self-confident traveler can explode and
as a result
can
be harmed
or even killed by random avalanche.

Summing up, the rock erosion process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
opening or roughness and can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
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IELTS academic The diagrams bellows show the stages in the erosion of a headland

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
122 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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