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Paradise island in the past and in present with significant improvements

Paradise island in the past and in present with significant improvements Dm7a
The map reveals the honings of Paradise Island between past and now. Overall, many developments and addings has occurred as a result of renovation the Paradise Island. Firstly, there were a beach on the north-west side of the Island which was located just above the Pier with a bridge and boats, however, over the year passed it has been changed considerably that we can see numerous addings such as permission for swimmers in the beach, then the bridge over the Pier was expanded, so that boats has turned into a splendid cruise ship now. In addition, the sea took place in the north in the past and scientific research station was the main architecture of west-south side including some trees around it, comparing with today's location it had destroyed and rebuilt a hotel complex, accordingly swimming pool was constructed in liue of that trees. While open restaurant are nearly in the middle of the Island, the BBQ area lies just under it followed by the cycle path in the south-east, one planting space coalesced there previously. in the empty north-east side was filled by situating Scenic lookout now, however the rocks have been remaining mimic to the north-east. The natural spring has introduced as Cafe in the east.
The map reveals the
honings
of Paradise Island between past and
now
.

Overall
,
many
developments and
addings
has occurred
as a result
of renovation the Paradise Island.

Firstly
, there were a beach on the north-west side of the Island which
was located
just
above the Pier with a bridge and boats,
however
, over the year passed it has been
changed
considerably
that we can
see
numerous
addings
such as permission for swimmers in the beach, then the bridge over the Pier
was expanded
,
so
that boats has turned into a splendid cruise ship
now
.
In addition
, the sea took place in the north in the past and scientific research station was the main architecture of west-south side including
some
trees around it, comparing with
today
's location it had
destroyed
and rebuilt a hotel complex,
accordingly
swimming pool
was constructed
in
liue
of that trees. While open restaurant are
nearly
in the middle of the Island, the BBQ area lies
just
under it followed by the cycle path in the south-east, one planting space coalesced there previously.
in
the empty north-east side
was filled
by situating Scenic lookout
now
,
however
the rocks have been remaining mimic to the north-east. The natural spring has introduced as
Cafe
in the east.
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IELTS academic Paradise island in the past and in present with significant improvements

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
208 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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