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The diagram shows the way in which natural gas is produced and transported to the consumer.

The diagram shows the way in which natural gas is produced and transported to the consumer. 18kn
The diagram shows how natural gas is made and transported to the consumer. Equipment consisted of a gas station, transportation and also pipeline network. First of all the gas was collected in the gas well then, they brought them to the gas processing station. After processing the original gas, put it on the gas truck, it was transported to 2 places: gas station and gas supply station. The gas station will sells gas, fuels for vehicles. The gas supply station will produced non-piped gas tank, put the rest into the pipeline network. Finally, consumer brought it home and it would be used by the gas appliances. In overview, we can see that how natural gas is produced and transported to the consumer. There are plenty of step from that process and it is pretty complicated.
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
is made
and transported to the consumer. Equipment consisted of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
, transportation and
also
pipeline network.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
was collected
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
well then, they brought them to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
processing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
. After processing the original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
, put it on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
truck, it
was transported
to 2 places:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
will sells
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
, fuels for vehicles. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "produce"
produced
non-piped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
tank, put the rest into the pipeline network.
Finally
, consumer brought it home and it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
appliances.

In overview, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that how natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
is produced
and transported to the consumer. There are
Possible agreement error. The noun step seems to be countable; consider using: "plenty of steps".
plenty of step
from that process and it is pretty complicated.

IELTS academic The diagram shows the way in which natural gas is produced and transported to the consumer.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
135 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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