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3 nutrients intake during the day by Americans

3 nutrients intake during the day by Americans le93J
The pie charts illustrate the consumption pattern of Americans in a typical day of four meals with three ingredients of salt, fat, and sugar proportions. However, all these seem harmful to the body if consumed in excess. Overall, the morning meal makes up the least amount of nutrients in comparison with the dinner which accounts for the most calory intake, while the sugar is highly consumed during the tea time than all other time frames. with regards to the first two charts, a similar pattern can be identified in salt and fat consumption which is as much as two-fifth consumed at the dining whereas over a quarter percentage of the same consists at lunch being the second-highest intake of the day. Interestingly, both afternoon snacks and meals in the morning show almost equal percentage in eating which is below a fifth. Turning to the last chart, sugar accounts for nearly half of the total, which is twice as much fat as at tea time. The second major percentage is made up of 23% at night which is half the amount of salt eaten. However, when compared the lunch and breakfast, nearly a tenth variation can be seen in the former, while the latter constitutes almost the same percentage throughout the day in every meal.
The pie charts illustrate the consumption pattern of Americans in a typical day of four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
with three ingredients of salt,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, and sugar proportions.
However
, all these seem harmful to the body if consumed in excess.

Overall
, the morning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up the least amount of nutrients
in comparison
with the dinner which accounts for the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
calory
intake, while the sugar is
highly
consumed during the tea time than all other time frames.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
the
first
two charts, a similar pattern can
be identified
in salt and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
consumption which is as much as two-fifth consumed
This is a collocation error. Use "in" for rooms. Revise: "in the dining".
at the dining
whereas over a quarter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of the same consists at lunch being the second-highest intake of the day.
Interestingly
, both afternoon snacks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
in the morning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
almost equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
in eating which is below a fifth.

Turning to the last chart, sugar accounts for
nearly
half of the total, which is twice as much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
as at tea time. The second major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
is made
up of 23% at night which is half the amount of salt eaten.
However
, when compared the lunch and breakfast,
nearly
a tenth variation can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the former, while the latter constitutes almost the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
throughout the day in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
.

IELTS academic 3 nutrients intake during the day by Americans

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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