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The diagram shows the recycling process of paper

The diagram shows the recycling process of paper gxOwa
The given chart demonstrates the process of the waste paper recycling. Overall, there are six stages starting with collecting paper and ending with manufacturing new usable paper. First of all, it is clearly seen that public paper banks and papers from business are gathered in order to sorting them by hand, and here they are graded. Next unused paper will be got rid of, as well. Then before cleaning paper mill. After being pulped and charged from staples, for example, and paper is uncolored. Finally, this semi-ready paper come to the last process which manufactures handful paper.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart demonstrates the process of the waste paper recycling.

Overall
, there are six stages starting with collecting paper and ending with manufacturing new usable paper.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that public paper banks and papers from business
are gathered
in order to
Did you mean "sort"?
sorting
them by hand, and here they
are graded
.
Next
unused paper will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
rid of,
as well
.

Then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
cleaning paper mill. After
being pulped
and charged from staples,
for example
, and paper
is uncolored
.
Finally
, this semi-ready paper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the last process which manufactures handful paper.
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IELTS academic The diagram shows the recycling process of paper

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
97 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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