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The diagram shows the process by which sheep embryos are cloned.

The diagram shows the process by which sheep embryos are cloned. LrK3p
The given diagram illustrates the procedure by which sheep's embryos are cloned. Overall, the process of cloning involves several steps commencing by materials taken from different sheep and ending with cloned lamb of sheep. To begin, two female sheeps are selected, in this case, A and B. Body cell is taken from the sheep A while on the other hand eggshell is withdrawn from the other sheep. Next, DNA is extracted from the body cell whereas, from the egg cell nucleus is removed. Following this step, DNA is fused with the non-nucleoid eggshell from sheep B In the subsequent step, when the fusion is completed, it develops into an embryo over time, which is then placed in a foster mother's uterus. Finally, after months of gestation a lamb is born from the Foster mother. This offspring is a clone of sheep whose body cell was used and this concludes the process of cloning in shapes
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram illustrates the procedure by which sheep's embryos
are cloned
.

Overall
, the process of cloning involves several steps commencing by materials taken from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sheep and ending with cloned lamb of sheep.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, two female
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "sheep", the plural form of the noun 'sheep'?
sheeps
are selected
,
in this case
, A and B. Body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
is taken
from the sheep A while
on the other hand
eggshell is withdrawn from the other sheep.
Next
, DNA
is extracted
from the body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
whereas, from the egg
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
nucleus
is removed
. Following this step, DNA
is fused
with the non-nucleoid eggshell from sheep B

In the subsequent step, when the fusion
is completed
, it develops into an embryo over time, which is then placed in a foster mother's uterus.
Finally
, after months of gestation a lamb
is born
from the Foster mother. This offspring is a clone of sheep whose body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and this concludes the process of cloning in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
shapes
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IELTS academic The diagram shows the process by which sheep embryos are cloned.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
154 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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