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The diagram shows the manufacturing of tea.

The diagram shows the manufacturing of tea. KnP9M
The given diagram compares the various steps for the production of black tea. Overall, the manufacturing of tea starts from picking fresh tea leaves and ends, when flavor and aroma released. It is clearly seen that a person is picking fresh leaves from tea plant as well as only bud and two top leaves are picked for good quality tea. Afterwards, the air passed through the leaves on rack, which is called withering, also 60% moisture move out from leaves. There are two methods, which are used after withering, namely, traditional method and modern method. In traditional method, leaves are rolled flat and then, broken, whereas in modern method, there is cutting, torn and curled the leaves. Moving further, enzymes are released from leaves, as well as the process is done quickly and smaller granular pieces are created. Next, both are sent for oxidation or fermentation, in which leaves are spread on tiles or cement after rolling. The enzymes and air is present in atmosphere, consequently leaves change into copper colour. Then, these are put in oven or hot air dryers for firing or drying. 97% of moisture moved out, also flavor and aroma is released from leaves.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram compares the various steps for the production of black tea.

Overall
, the manufacturing of
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tea
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from picking fresh
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tea
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leaves
and ends, when flavor and aroma released.

It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that a person is picking fresh
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leaves
from
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tea
plant
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bud and two top
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leaves
are picked
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality
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tea
. Afterwards, the air passed through the
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leaves
on rack, which
is called
withering,
also
60% moisture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out from
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leaves
. There are two
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methods
, which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
after withering,
namely
, traditional
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method
and modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
. In traditional
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method
,
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leaves
are rolled
flat and then, broken, whereas in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
, there is cutting, torn and curled the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
.

Moving
further
, enzymes
are released
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
,
as well
as the process
is done
quickly
and smaller granular pieces
are created
.
Next
, both are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for oxidation or fermentation, in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
are spread
on tiles or cement after rolling. The enzymes and air is present in atmosphere,
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
into copper
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
. Then, these
are put
in oven or hot air dryers for firing or drying. 97% of moisture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
out,
also
flavor and aroma
is released
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
.
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IELTS academic The diagram shows the manufacturing of tea.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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