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tourist in Caribbean staying on island and using cruise ship

tourist in Caribbean staying on island and using cruise ship GN0eo
The above graph is a total study of tourists visiting the Caribbean island during a span of 7 years from 2010 to 2017. From the graph we can tell that there is a good growth in total tourist in Caribbean island overall years. In 2010 there were overall 1 million visitors out of which most of the visitors preferred to stay on island rather than on cruise ship. In the following year that is in 2011 the overall number of tourist increased steadily, but the visitors staying on island remain constant with increase in visitors in cruise ship. The year 2012 was the worst year for cruise ship as the growth of the cruise ship had a down fall compare to last year but the visitors staying on land had a blast their growth boosted up to over 1 million visitors. The overall the tourist in that year were 15000000. The year 2013 can be consider as the growth year for both business as visitors were increased in both the department visitors on island increased up to 1. 5 million and on cruise were up to 0. 5 million. The overall visitors were 2 million In 2014 the visitors increased by half million for cruise ship whereas the visitors were remain constant for those who preferred staying on island, Overall visitors went up to whopping 2. 5 million. The same was for 2015 there was growth in cruise but the island visitors remain constant. The visitor’s population increased up to 2. 75 million. 2016 was a down fall of visitors on island and visitors on cruise ship overtook the number of visitors on island. The overall visitors remain constant as that of 2015. By chart we can consider that 2017 was the best year for both business, over all visitors increased up to 3. 5 million mark and both business had a growth. From the above passages we can conclude that there was good growth of visitors from 2010 to 2017, nearly 3 times the population of visitors increased from 2010 to 2017. Both business had a good growth in number also.
The above graph is a total study of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visiting the Caribbean
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island
during a span of 7 years from 2010 to 2017. From the graph we can
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tell
that there is a
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good
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growth
in total
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tourist
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the Caribbean".
in Caribbean
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island
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overall
years.

In 2010 there were
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overall
1
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million
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visitors
out of which most of the
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visitors
preferred to stay on
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island
rather
than on
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cruise
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ship
. In the following
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year
that is
in 2011 the
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overall
number of
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tourist
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increased
steadily
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
staying on
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island
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remain
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constant
with increase in
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visitors
in
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cruise
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ship
. The
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year
2012 was the worst
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year
for
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cruise
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ship
as the
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growth
of the
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cruise
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ship
had a down fall compare to last
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year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
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visitors
staying on land had a blast their
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growth
boosted up to over 1
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million
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visitors
. The
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overall
the
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tourist
in that
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year
were 15000000.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
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year
2013 can be
Consider using the past participle "considered"?
consider
as the
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growth
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year
for both
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business
as
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visitors
were
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increased
in both the department
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visitors
on
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island
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increased
up to 1. 5
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million
and on
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cruise
were up to 0. 5
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million
. The
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overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
were 2 million

In 2014 the
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visitors
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increased
by half
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million
for
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cruise
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ship
whereas the
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visitors
were
Consider using a past participle here: "remained".
remain
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constant
for those who preferred staying on
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island
,
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Overall
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visitors
went up to whopping 2. 5
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million
. The same was for 2015 there was
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growth
in
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cruise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
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island
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remain
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constant
. The
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visitor’s
population
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increased
up to 2. 75
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million
. 2016 was a down fall of
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visitors
on
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island
and
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visitors
on
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cruise
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ship
overtook the number of
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visitors
on
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island
. The
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overall
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visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remain
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constant
as that of 2015. By
The comma is probably missing here: "chart, we".
chart we
can consider that 2017 was the best
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year
for both
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business
, over all
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visitors
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increased
up to 3. 5
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million
mark and both
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business
had a growth.

From the above passages we can conclude that there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of
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visitors
from 2010 to 2017,
nearly
3 times the population of
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visitors
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increased
from 2010 to 2017. Both
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business
had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in number
also
.
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IELTS academic tourist in Caribbean staying on island and using cruise ship

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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