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The diagram shows the development of small coastal village into tourist attraction. Write a report and main features

The diagram shows the development of small coastal village into tourist attraction. Write a report and main features w76x3
The pictorial diagrams illustrates the conversion of small sea side village into a place for tourist attractions. Overall it can be seen that new infrastructures has been built while the number of the trees in the surrounding areas decreased. In 2000, population of village was about 40000. After its development into tourist destination, population after 15 years was 70000 plus 10000 tourists. The village had less houses on both the side of road while in resort the number of houses increased. Furthermore, the hotel on the right side of the road was renovated into a newly infrastructured hotel and a car parking was constructed in east of the former. The farmland and the forest park in the village was amalgamated and a golf ground was formed along with the swimming pool below it and two tennis court near it. A school was established on right side of the road in the north. The fish market was demolished and holiday apartments were built on the other side of the road. Moreover, the boats and the fishing harbour were replaced with private beach and cafe and restaurant.
The pictorial diagrams
You should probably use "illustrate".
illustrates
the conversion of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
sea side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
into a place for tourist attractions.
Overall
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that new infrastructures has
been built
while the number of the trees in the surrounding areas decreased. In 2000, population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
was about 40000. After its development into tourist destination, population after 15 years was 70000 plus 10000 tourists. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
had
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun houses is countable.
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
on both the side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
while in resort the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
increased.
Furthermore
, the hotel on the right side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
was renovated
into a
newly
Possible spelling mistake found.
infrastructured
hotel and a car parking
was constructed
in east of the former. The farmland and the forest park in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
was amalgamated
and a golf ground
was formed
along with the swimming pool below it and two tennis court near it. A school
was established
on right side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
in the north. The fish market
was demolished
and holiday apartments
were built
on the other side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
.
Moreover
, the boats and the fishing
Possible spelling mistake. 'harbour' is British English.
harbour
were replaced
with private beach and
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
and restaurant.
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IELTS academic The diagram shows the development of small coastal village into tourist attraction. Write a report and main features

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
185 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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