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diroce rate in Finland and Sweden

diroce rate in Finland and Sweden kx25e
The bar chart illustrates infromation about the proporation of divroce in Finland and Sweden. In general, Sweden experinced a downward trend, while Finland showed an upward trend during the period given. It is clear from from the chart that Sweden's divroce rate was about 45. /. in 2011 which was higher than Finland's rate. The divroce rate in Sweden increased slightly in 2012 reaching 50. /. It is interesting to notice that after the year 2012 the divroce rate in Sweden decreased gradually untill it reached to 33. /. in 2015. By contrast, the percentage of divroce in Finland was less than 40. /. in 2011 and it declined to 31. /. in 2012. Morover, this figure witnessed a steady groth during the next two years. It rose to approximatley 39. /. in 2013 and 43. /. in 2014. In conlusion, people in Sweden suffered from this problem more than Finland.
The bar chart illustrates
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infromation
about the
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proporation
of
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divroce
in Finland and Sweden.
In general
, Sweden
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experinced
a downward trend, while Finland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend during the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
Possible typo: you repeated a word
from from
the chart that Sweden's
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divroce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was about 45. /.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
2011 which was higher than Finland's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
. The
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divroce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in Sweden increased
slightly
in 2012 reaching 50. /. It is interesting to notice that after the year 2012 the
Possible spelling mistake found.
divroce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in Sweden decreased
gradually
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
it reached to 33. /.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
2015. By contrast, the percentage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
divroce
in Finland was less than 40. /.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
2011 and it declined to 31. /.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
2012.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morover
, this figure witnessed a steady
Possible spelling mistake found.
groth
during the
next
two years. It rose to
Possible spelling mistake found.
approximatley
39. /.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
2013 and 43. /.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
2014.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
conlusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Sweden suffered from this problem more than Finland.
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IELTS academic diroce rate in Finland and Sweden

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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