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The diagram shows how to make carbonated drinks.

The diagram shows how to make carbonated drinks. 30E1l
The diagram illustrates the apparatus and phases of producing carbonated drinks. Overall, it is apparent from the chart that there are five stages in this man-made process, commencing with water cleaning and culminating in labeling and sealing the carbonated drinks. The process initiates with the water being filtered. The raw water are cleaned by adding chemicals before the process of filtration. In the following stage, water is pumped via pope's to a electric heaters. In the second stage of the process, cleaned water is collected in a electric heaters in order to heat the water. Then, it produces the evaporation and the vapour of water is transferred through cooling pipe. Similarly, the mixture of evaporation and carbon dioxide create carbonated water. In the subsequent stage, the carbonated water is sent to mixing tank through a pipe. Likewise, carbonated water is rotated with adding colour, flavour and syrup. The fourth stage consists filtering and filling bottles. The final stage concludes with the bottles being packed and marketed for sale in the supermarkets by a truck.
The diagram illustrates the apparatus and phases of producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbonated
drinks.

Overall
, it is apparent from the chart that there are five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
, commencing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
cleaning and culminating in labeling and sealing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbonated
drinks.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
initiates with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
being filtered
. The raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
are cleaned
by adding chemicals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of filtration. In the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is pumped
via pope's to
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
electric
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "heater"?
heaters
. In the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
, cleaned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is collected
in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
electric
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "heater"?
heaters
in order to heat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. Then, it produces the evaporation and the
Possible spelling mistake. 'vapour' is British English.
vapour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is transferred
through cooling pipe.
Similarly
, the mixture of evaporation and carbon dioxide create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbonated
water.

In the subsequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbonated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to mixing tank through a pipe.
Likewise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbonated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is rotated
with adding
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
and syrup. The fourth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
consists filtering and filling bottles. The final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
concludes with the bottles
being packed
and marketed for sale in the supermarkets by a truck.

IELTS academic The diagram shows how to make carbonated drinks.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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