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The diagram provides a man-made process of two different methods of manufacturing black tea

The diagram provides a man-made process of two different methods of manufacturing black tea q1j2P
The diagram provides a man-made process of two different methods of manufacturing black tea. There are two steps for pre-production stages and the other three for production phases. To begin with, only the bud and two top fresh tea leaves are picked for making a good quality tea. After that, the leaves are withered to get the 60% moisture out of them. In this process, the air passed through all the leaves on the rack. This is the end of the pre-production stages. Following this, we can choose to use either traditional or modern methods. The traditional one intends to create rolled flat and broken leaves by rolling process, so the enzymes can be released from leaves, whereas the modern one intends to create tea bags by cutting process; this is a quicker process in which smaller granular pieces are created. The outcome of this stage is cut, torn, and curled leaves. The next step is an oxidation or fermentation process, in which the rolled leaves spread on tiles/cement. Finally, they go through the firing/drying process in an oven or hot air dryers.
The diagram provides a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made
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process
of two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods of manufacturing black
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
. There are two steps for pre-production stages and the other three for production phases.

To
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begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the bud and two top fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
are picked
for making a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
are withered
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the 60% moisture out of them. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
, the air passed through all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
on the rack. This is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the pre-production stages. Following this, we can choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
either traditional or modern methods. The traditional one intends to create rolled flat and broken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
by rolling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the enzymes can
be released
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
, whereas the modern one intends to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
bags by cutting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
; this is a quicker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
in which smaller granular pieces
are created
. The outcome of this stage is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
, torn, and curled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
next
step is an oxidation or fermentation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
, in which the rolled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
spread on tiles/cement.
Finally
, they go through the firing/drying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
in an oven or hot air dryers.

IELTS academic The diagram provides a man-made process of two different methods of manufacturing black tea

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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