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the diagram of the food produce

the diagram of the food produce A3nnn
The diagram gives information about how products of the food is reused. A glance at this diagram reveals that the process involved 3 main stages beginning with the transport of products on the farm and ending with the distribution of food to restaurants or retail. At the first step of the process, the products are transported by boat ship, after that the food production will move to process centre at the factory and next step it is brought to the distribution area and divide into three small storehouses. At the second tip of this diagram, the manufacturers of the food were allocated to restaurants or retail by truck. If the food is brought to the restaurant, it will be prepared by the chef’s restaurant, and it is sold and purchased by the guest. If the food is distributed to retail, the products are prepared by each household or family, and it is consumed by families.
The diagram gives information about how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is reused
. A glance at this diagram reveals that the process involved 3 main stages beginning with the transport of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
on the farm and ending with the distribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
or retail.

At the
first
step of the process, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are transported
by boat ship, after that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to process
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
at the factory and
next
step it
is brought
to the distribution area and divide into three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
storehouses.

At the second tip of this diagram, the manufacturers of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
were allocated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
or retail by truck. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is brought
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
, it will
be prepared
by the chef’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
, and it
is sold
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
by the guest. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is distributed
to retail, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are prepared
by each household or family, and it
is consumed
by families.
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IELTS academic the diagram of the food produce

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
155 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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