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The line graph illustrates the proportion of people in four age brackets going to the cinema at least once a month in a nation in Europe between 2000 and 2011.

The line graph illustrates the proportion of people in four age brackets going to the cinema at least once a month in a nation in Europe between 2000 and 2011. ke2pR
Overall, the percentage of people visiting the cinema once a month was highest among 15-to-24-year-olds, compared to those aged 35 and plus with the lowest figures. Additionally, all age groups witnessed increases in cinema attendance over the given period. In the year 2000, 15% of people in the 15-24 age group went to the cinema once a month. This figure rose exponentially over the following years and reached 55% by 2011. Meanwhile, merely 3% of people in the oldest age bracket, 35 years old or more, visited the cinema at least once a month. This data also gradually increased over the years and eventually finished at approximately 13% in 2011. Identical patterns can be seen for cinemagoers aged 7-14 and 25-35. Starting at roughly 10% and 5% respectively, both figures followed upward trends over the surveyed period and reached 30% by 2011.
Overall
, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
once a month was highest among 15-to-24-year-olds, compared to those aged 35 and plus with the lowest figures.
Additionally
, all age groups witnessed increases in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
attendance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

In the
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year
2000, 15% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the 15-24 age group went to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
once a month. This figure rose
exponentially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the following years and reached 55% by 2011. Meanwhile,
merely
3% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the oldest age bracket, 35 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
or more, visited the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
at least once a month. This data
also
gradually
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the years and
eventually
finished at approximately 13% in 2011.

Identical patterns can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
cinemagoers
aged 7-14 and 25-35. Starting at roughly 10% and 5%
respectively
, both figures followed upward trends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the surveyed period and reached 30% by 2011.

IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the proportion of people in four age brackets going to the cinema at least once a month in a nation in Europe between 2000 and 2011.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 6.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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