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The diagram illustrates the way in which frozen fish pies are made their road to the end of the production line.

The diagram illustrates the way in which frozen fish pies are made their road to the end of the production line. 9DxW
The diagram illustrates the way in which frozen fish pies are made their road to the end of the production line. Overall, the ingredients needed to make the pie are peas, fish, sauce, and potato, being put under several processes. In the first stage of making the frozen pie, a delivery truck arrives with potatoes and fresh salmon. While the potatoes could be stored for up to one month before preparation, the salmon is put under the process in under 12 hours. The potatoes are then cleaned, after which they peel them, later throwing the waste. Subsequently, the sliced potatoes are chill after being boiled, after which they are stored. In the second part of the process, the salmon is seasoned with lemon juice and salt, then put into a steam oven. At this point, two workers remove and throw out the skin and bones of the fish. Another employee inspects the salmon and sends it out to be seasoned again with prepared peas and sauce. The previously stored potatoes are being thrown over the salmon, forming the pie. Finally, it is wrapped and frozen, making it ready for storage or dispatch.
The diagram illustrates the way in which frozen fish pies
are made
their road to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the production line.
Overall
, the ingredients needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the pie are peas, fish, sauce, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potato
,
being put
under several processes.

In the
first
stage of making the frozen pie, a delivery truck arrives with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potatoes
and fresh salmon. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potatoes
could
be stored
for up to one month
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
preparation, the salmon
is put
under the process in under 12 hours. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potatoes
are then cleaned, after which they peel them, later throwing the waste.
Subsequently
, the sliced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potatoes
are chill after
being boiled
, after which they
are stored
.

In the second part of the process, the salmon
is seasoned
with lemon juice and salt, then put into a steam oven. At this point, two workers remove and throw out the skin and bones of the fish. Another employee inspects the salmon and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sends
it out to
be seasoned
again with prepared peas and sauce. The previously stored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potatoes
are
being thrown
over the salmon, forming the pie.
Finally
, it
is wrapped
and frozen, making it ready for storage or dispatch.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrates the way in which frozen fish pies are made their road to the end of the production line.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
192 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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