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The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry. 5nlN
The picture depicts the manufacturing process of the bricks for the construction industry utilization. In the upstream, the process is started from clay-sized soil mining grasped by an excavator. The clay bulks then are fined by metal-based refinery to produce homogenous finer grain sized prior to conveying step on the roller belt. After that, the mixed of sand plus water are poured into clayed soil substances in order to be formed in bricks either using wire cutter or mould utensil. Subsequently, the more humid bricks which has been formed will be dried over 24-48 hours in special oven. This oven process will pass three primary phases where the whole bricks are baked in moderate temperature (200oC-980oC) in the first phase before entering the higher temperature (870oC-1300oC) baking process. As the last drying step, the bricks are having cooling down process inside the specific chamber over 48-72 hours. In the downstream area, after the bricks are completely losing their moisture content, the dry bricks are ready to be packaged as a main requirement to delivery commercially to the market by four-wheeled container trucks.
The picture depicts the manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
for the construction industry utilization.

In the upstream, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from clay-sized soil mining grasped by an excavator. The clay bulks then
are fined
by metal-based refinery to produce homogenous finer grain sized prior to conveying step on the roller belt. After that,
The phrase 'the mixed of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the mixed of
sand plus water
are poured
into
Possible spelling mistake found.
clayed
soil substances in order to
be formed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
either using wire cutter or
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
utensil.
Subsequently
, the more humid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
which has
been formed
will
be dried
over 24-48 hours in special oven. This oven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
will pass three primary phases where the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are baked
in moderate temperature (200oC-980oC) in the
first
phase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering the higher temperature (870oC-1300oC) baking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
. As the last drying step, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are having cooling down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
inside the specific chamber over 48-72 hours. In the downstream area, after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are completely losing their moisture content, the dry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are ready to
be packaged
as a main requirement to delivery
commercially
to the market by four-wheeled container trucks.

IELTS academic The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
182 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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