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The diagram illustrates the process involved in steel rod manufacturing in the furniture industry.

The diagram illustrates the process involved in steel rod manufacturing in the furniture industry. Overall, there are eleven stages in the manufacturing process, which starts with collecting raw material and ends with inspecting. First, raw material such as iron ore, yellow ore and carbon is collected and melted at the temperature of 1300-1500 Celsius degrees in the melting slit. Smelting cabin is where the third steps occur, the mixture experience a refinement in order to make it pour. Once the third step finally finishes, the pouring machine pour candescent metal into ingots. Next, in the cooling reservoir which is connected to ingots, metal is cooled down at the temperature of sixty to one hundred degree Celsius and metal goes through nozzels and become strands of cooled metal. Following this, strands of cooled metal are rolled in rollers and experience a heat treatment in a heating machine. In the eighth step, the strands’ surfaces are checked by a measuring automaton. After that, the products are sized by the cutter and get ID stamping. In the final step, the products undergo an inspection and then they are ready for use.
The diagram illustrates the process involved in steel rod manufacturing in the furniture industry.

Overall
, there are eleven stages in the manufacturing process, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with collecting raw material and ends with inspecting.

First
, raw material such as iron ore, yellow ore and carbon
is collected
and melted at the temperature of 1300-1500 Celsius degrees in the melting slit. Smelting cabin is where the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
occur, the mixture experience a refinement in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it pour. Once the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
finally
finishes, the pouring machine pour
Possible spelling mistake found.
candescent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
metal
into ingots.
Next
, in the cooling reservoir which
is connected
to ingots,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
metal
is cooled
down at the temperature of sixty to one hundred degree Celsius and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
metal
goes through
Possible spelling mistake found.
nozzels
and become strands of cooled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
metal
. Following this, strands of cooled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
metal
are rolled
in rollers and experience a heat treatment in a heating machine. In the eighth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, the strands’ surfaces are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
by a measuring automaton. After that, the products
are sized
by the cutter and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ID stamping. In the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, the products undergo an
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
inspection and
then they are ready for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrates the process involved in steel rod manufacturing in the furniture industry.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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