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The diagram illustrates the number of cases X disase in Someland between 1983-1992 .

The diagram illustrates the number of cases X disase in Someland between 1983-1992. VloyQ
In 1983 the number of cases in Someland stood at 100. However, over the following two years, it was remained constantly. The number then rose significantly from 1985 to 1987 to 200 per year. But in 1988 it was plunged to 100, passing of time it was followed by a sudden increase at the end of this period, with the rate reaching a peak of 400 in 1989. Next the number of cases decreased to 350 in 1991. Finally it was a hit of 0 in 1992. In conclusion the number of cases reached a high of 400 in 1989, and it was fell sharply 0 in 1992.
In 1983 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of cases in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
stood at 100.
However
, over the following two years, it
was remained
constantly
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
then rose
significantly
from 1985 to 1987 to 200 per year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in 1988 it
was plunged
to 100, passing of time it
was followed
by a sudden increase at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of this period, with the rate reaching a peak of 400 in 1989.
Next
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of cases decreased to 350 in 1991.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
it was a hit of 0 in 1992.
In conclusion
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of cases reached a high of 400 in 1989, and it was fell
sharply
0 in 1992.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrates the number of cases X disase in Someland between 1983-1992.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
108 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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