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The diagram illustrates how to produce a ceramic pot

The diagram illustrates how to produce a ceramic pot nxyMR
The diagram illustrates how to produce a ceramic pot. At first glance, the process involves 10 main stages. Beginning with digging out some raw materials and ending with the completed pots. At the first stage, the raw materials are being drugged out of the ground by the excavators. Then, the excavators will move it into a plant. After that, the materials are grounded into fine powder by the crusher machine. Then, the powder is being mixed with water, the substance will be moulded in a dedicated machine and will be dried by artificial energy. At the following period, the substance after dried is being assembled into well-shaped clay pots and continues to be baked in the oven for 1000 degrees Celcius. In the next step, the pots are being dyed in colors to ensure a pretty appearance. In the subsequent step, the dyed pots are being fired in the oven and became completed pots.
The diagram illustrates how to produce a ceramic pot.

At
first
glance, the process involves 10 main stages. Beginning with digging out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
raw materials and ending with the completed pots.

At the
first
stage, the raw materials are
being drugged
out of the ground by the excavators. Then, the excavators will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
it into a plant. After that, the materials
are grounded
into fine powder by the crusher machine. Then, the powder is
being mixed
with water, the substance will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
moulded
in a dedicated machine and will
be dried
by artificial energy.

At the following period, the substance after dried is
being assembled
into well-shaped clay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pots
and continues to
be baked
in the oven for 1000 degrees
Possible spelling mistake found.
Celcius
. In the
next
step, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pots
are
being dyed
in colors to ensure a pretty appearance. In the subsequent step, the dyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pots
are
being fired
in the oven and became completed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pots
.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrates how to produce a ceramic pot

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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