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The diagram illustrates how shellfish are labeled for the international market.

The diagram illustrates how shellfish are labeled for the international market. Lr683
The diagram illustrates how shellfish are labeled for the international market. First of all, selfish are caught by special ships that have artisanal GPS locator, after this the ship send the right location to a satellite. When special people observe shellfish and report their location, they generate a barcode label to certify catch. After that the catch is transported to processing plant in order to prepare raw shellfish for sale.
The diagram illustrates how shellfish
are labeled
for the international market.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, selfish
are caught
by special ships that have artisanal GPS locator, after this the ship
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the right location to a satellite. When special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
observe shellfish and report their location, they generate a barcode label to certify catch. After that the catch
is transported
to processing plant in order to prepare raw shellfish for sale.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrates how shellfish are labeled for the international market.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
70 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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