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The chart and graph illustrate data on how many competitors participated in the Olympics from the first time it was held to 2012.

The chart and graph illustrate data on how many competitors participated in the Olympics from the first time it was held to 2012. 7nBX
The chart and graph illustrate data on how many competitors participated in the Olympics from the first time it was held to 2012. It is categorized into undisputable two genders, male and female. Overall, it can be seen that both increase as a part of the event, but males often remained at a significantly higher rate throughout this time. Speaking about males first, muscular guys always account for most of the participants all the time. In the year of beginning, the number of athletes was around 3000 but almost them were men. This unbalanced condition continued year after year until 1984, the gap remained about 3 times higher. As Olympic’s scale grown-up and maybe historical contexts, mankind has had a tendency to took part in the event that led to steadily increasing of competitors. Consequently, in 2012, the sum of competitors had reached approximately 11 thousand but the dissimilarity of gender proportion happened, refer sportswomen had surged considerably. Particularly in this milestone, female athletes rose up to 4. 700 people, compared to 6000 males, which created a satisfactory worldwide sports occasion in modern society.
The chart and graph illustrate data on how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
competitors participated in the Olympics from the
first
time it
was held
to 2012. It
is categorized
into undisputable two genders, male and female.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that both increase as a part of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
remained at a
significantly
higher rate throughout this time.

Speaking about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
first
, muscular guys always account for most of the participants all the time. In the year of beginning, the number of athletes was around 3000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
almost them were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. This unbalanced condition continued year after year until 1984, the gap remained about 3 times higher. As Olympic’s scale grown-up and maybe historical contexts, mankind has had a tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
that led to
steadily
increasing of competitors.
Consequently
, in 2012, the sum of competitors had reached approximately 11 thousand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the dissimilarity of gender proportion happened, refer sportswomen had surged
considerably
.
Particularly
in this milestone, female athletes rose up to 4. 700
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, compared to 6000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
, which created a satisfactory worldwide sports occasion in modern society.
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IELTS academic The chart and graph illustrate data on how many competitors participated in the Olympics from the first time it was held to 2012.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
184 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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