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The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words

The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. by0Y
The diagram shows us the process of making carbonated drinks and how they sent for packaging. The process are divided into 5 stages, they are water cleaning, heating evapouration and carnation, mixing, filtering and filling and packaging. The first step is water cleaning, where the raw water is filtered in to a pipe and goes through a tank in which contains chemicals which helps to soften water. In heating evaporation and carbonation, the water flows through a pump in which the water is pushed into an electric heater and goes into a cooling pipe. Subsequently, the cooled water passes through a container containing carbon dioxide. During mixing, the carbonated water is passed through a mixing tank which adds colouring, syrup and flavor to the drink. Atlast the water is filtered than sent for filtering and filling process in which the drink are filled in bottles and wrapped in boxes. Finally the boxes are loaded in a truck and dispatched for supermarkets
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us the process of making carbonated drinks and how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for packaging.

The process
are divided
into 5 stages, they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
cleaning, heating
Possible spelling mistake found.
evapouration
and carnation, mixing, filtering and filling and packaging.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
first
step is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
cleaning, where the raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is filtered
in to a pipe and goes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
a tank in which contains chemicals which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to soften
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. In heating evaporation and carbonation, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
flows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
a pump in which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is pushed
into an electric heater and goes into a cooling pipe.
Subsequently
, the cooled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
passes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
a container containing carbon dioxide. During mixing, the carbonated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is passed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
a mixing tank which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
Possible spelling mistake found.
colouring
, syrup and flavor to the drink.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Atlast
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is filtered
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for filtering and filling process in which the drink
are filled
in bottles and wrapped in boxes.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
the boxes
are loaded
in a truck and dispatched for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
supermarkets

IELTS academic The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
160 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words