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The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. bWPB
The diagram shows the stages of manufacturing carbonated drinks. The production process is mainly divided into 5 stages. Stage 1 is water cleaning where raw water is filtered, softened and processed with some chemicals which is then pumped to the next stage. In the next stage, water from stage 1 is heated through electric heaters, cooled through cooling pipes and then carbonated, thus making it ready for the next stage. Stage 3 is where the carbonated water is sent to the mixing tank and mixed with desired syrup, color and flavour to get the desired product. In stage 4 of the production process, the carbonated drink is then filtered and filled in bottles or cans. Stage 5 which is the final stage is where the bottles or cans of carbonated drink are packed into boxes and the packed boxes of carbonated drink are transported to the supermarkets through an appropriate carrier.
The diagram
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shows
the
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stages
of manufacturing
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carbonated
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drinks
. The production process is
mainly
divided into 5 stages.

Stage 1 is
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water
cleaning where raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is filtered
, softened and processed with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chemicals which is then pumped to the
next
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stage
. In the
next
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stage
,
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water
from
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stage
1
is heated
through electric heaters, cooled through cooling pipes and then
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carbonated
,
thus
making it ready for the
next
stage.

Stage 3 is where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbonated
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water
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the mixing tank and mixed with desired syrup, color and
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
to
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get
the desired product. In
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stage
4 of the production process, the
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carbonated
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drink
is then filtered and filled in bottles or cans.
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Stage
5 which is the final
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stage
is where the bottles or cans of
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carbonated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
are packed
into boxes and the packed boxes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbonated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
are transported
to the supermarkets through an appropriate carrier.

IELTS academic The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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