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The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. 1Bl7
The image illustrates how are made sparkled drinks, the process is composed of 5 different stages. The first process concern in the cleaning of raw water that is filtered and than it is mixed with water softener and many other chimical agents. After that the water is pumped in an eletric heaters. With this high temperature water start to evaporate and this particles crossing a cooling pipe reach the place were they are mixed with carbon dioxide end where took place the carbonation. Thirdly the water goes to a mixing tank where it is added to colorant, syrup and flavours. With rotative mouvements all that componets are mixed and then newly filtered for get in the next step which consist in the filling of different packagings like bottle and can. Subsequently are collected many bottles or many cans is paper boxes for optimize the transportation to the supermarkets.
The image illustrates how
are made
sparkled drinks, the process
is composed
of 5
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages.

The
first
process concern in the cleaning of raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
that
is filtered
and
Did you mean "then"?
than
it
is mixed
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
softener and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
chimical
agents.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is pumped
in an
Possible spelling mistake found.
eletric
heaters. With this high temperature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to evaporate and this particles crossing a cooling pipe reach the place were they
are mixed
with carbon dioxide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
where took place the carbonation.
Thirdly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
goes to a mixing tank where it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to colorant, syrup and
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavours' is British English.
flavours
. With
Possible spelling mistake found.
rotative
Possible spelling mistake found.
mouvements
all that
Possible spelling mistake found.
componets
are mixed
and then
newly
filtered for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in the
next
step which consist in the filling of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
packagings
like bottle and can.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Subsequently
are collected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
bottles or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cans is paper boxes for optimize the transportation to the supermarkets.
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IELTS academic The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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