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The diagram given below show the manufacture of making sugar from the sugarcane.

The diagram given below show the manufacture of making sugar from the sugarcane. PWMGJ
The process chart depicts the making process of sugar with sugarcane. Overall, it is quite evident that, the process undergoes through seven steps, commencing from the harvesting of sugarcane and culminating to drying and cooling of liquid. To initially, on the first step the sugarcane are grown in the field for 12-18 months. After the full growth, these sugarcane are harvested by the farmers with their hands and by the tractor. Then, the cut sugarcane are crushed by the crusher and the juice came out. After that, the juice is purified with the help of limestone filter. Moving to the remaining steps, after purifying process, the juice is collected in an evaporator above the heat where juice convert to syrup form. On the next stage, the sugar crystals are seperated from syrup by certrifuge. Finally, the ready sugar is dried and cooled.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
chart depicts the making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of sugar with sugarcane.
Overall
, it is quite evident that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
undergoes through seven steps, commencing from the harvesting of sugarcane and culminating to drying and cooling of liquid. To
initially
, on the
first
step the sugarcane
are grown
in the field for 12-18 months. After the full growth,
Did you mean "this sugarcane" or "these sugarcanes"?
these sugarcane
are harvested
by the farmers with their hands and by the tractor. Then, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
sugarcane
are crushed
by the crusher and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juice
came out. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juice
is purified
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of limestone filter. Moving to the remaining steps, after purifying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juice
is collected
in an evaporator above the heat where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juice
convert to syrup form. On the
next
stage, the sugar crystals are
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperated
from syrup by
Possible spelling mistake found.
certrifuge
.
Finally
, the ready sugar
is dried
and cooled.
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IELTS academic The diagram given below show the manufacture of making sugar from the sugarcane.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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