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The data composed in form of a pie chart illustrate primary ways of transporting adapted by travelers to reach universities for studies or job purposes during 2004 and 2009.

The data composed in form of a pie chart illustrate primary ways of transporting adapted by travelers to reach universities for studies or job purposes during 2004 and 2009. xD0y9
The data composed in form of a pie chart illustrate primary ways of transporting adapted by travelers to reach universities for studies or job purposes during 2004 and 2009. Overall, in the first period, more than half passengers were using a car, however, this ratio declined sharply in the second year, as result, usage of other communication resources rose. Within 2004, cars and buses had been the utmost method of transportation. cars held the percentage of 51% and bus 33% respectively. However, 2009 brought changes some significant changes; the ratio of automobiles, which were recorded as the most supreme source of transportation remarkably reduced to 28%. Due to the impact of this ratio of its competitive modes expanded. People who were transported by bus amounted to 46%, more than the prior value of 33%. while train saw the most insignificant change of percent, walking remained same in both ages.
The data composed in form of a pie chart illustrate primary ways of transporting adapted by travelers to reach universities for studies or job purposes during 2004 and 2009.
Overall
, in the
first
period, more than half passengers were using a car,
however
, this ratio declined
sharply
in the second year, as result, usage of other communication resources rose.

Within 2004, cars and buses had been the utmost method of transportation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
cars
held the percentage of 51% and bus 33%
respectively
.
However
, 2009 brought
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
; the ratio of automobiles, which
were recorded
as the most supreme source of transportation
remarkably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to 28%. Due to the impact of this ratio of its competitive modes expanded.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
were transported
by bus amounted to 46%, more than the prior value of 33%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
train
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the most insignificant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of percent, walking remained same in both ages.
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IELTS academic The data composed in form of a pie chart illustrate primary ways of transporting adapted by travelers to reach universities for studies or job purposes during 2004 and 2009.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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