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The diagram explains the way in which water is collected from different resources and its transformation for a drink.

The diagram explains the way in which water is collected from different resources and its transformation for a drink. K82R
The diagram explains the way in which water is collected from different resources and its transformation for a drink. Overall, the circular process consists of four different methods of getting the water into a house and two methods of runoff water. First of all, everything starts with rainwater and the main part is the house where the water is accumulated. The first method of getting drinkable water is the use of a cylindrical rainwater tank outside. The second way is to collect the rainwater into a dam, then the water goes to a rectangular water treatment plant. After that, we have finally the drinking water which serves to the house. Household wastewater goes to a second wastewater treatment plant. Following this, the excess treated water leaves to the river and other water is recycled to a cylindrical container and goes back to the house for use.
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the way in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is collected
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
resources and its transformation for a drink.

Overall
, the circular process consists of four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods of getting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
into a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and two methods of runoff water.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, everything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with rainwater and the main part is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is accumulated
. The
first
method of getting drinkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of a cylindrical rainwater tank outside. The second way is to collect the rainwater into a dam, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
goes to a rectangular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
treatment plant. After that, we have
finally
the drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
which serves to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

Household wastewater goes to a second wastewater treatment plant. Following this, the excess treated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
to the river and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is recycled
to a cylindrical container and goes back to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

IELTS academic The diagram explains the way in which water is collected from different resources and its transformation for a drink.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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