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Describe chart which shows percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008

Describe chart which shows percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008 EWrR
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of people who have eaten five different samples of healthy foods(fruits and vegetables) in the UK in the period from 2001 to 2008 on a daily basis. Overall, the percentage consumption of fruits and vegetables soared in 2008. Firstly, the men have consistently consumed more as compared to the women and children followed by the women and lastly the children, having consumed the least. There is a stable increase in the proportion of people following a healthy diet until 2006 whereby the increasing trend finishes. Thus, the most noticeable trend is that the percentage skyrocketed to a high of 35% in 2008 from 12% in 2001 for the men. However, the percentage slipped back to 30% in 2007 and 29% in 2008 for the men. Specifically, there is a sudden fluctuation in the percentage consumption of children from 2003 to 2008. The difference in the percentage rates of women and children is marginally constant whereas that of men and women has undergone variation.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have eaten five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
samples of healthy foods(fruits and vegetables) in the UK in the period from 2001 to 2008 on a daily basis.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
consumption of fruits and vegetables soared in 2008.

Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
have
consistently
consumed more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
followed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
lastly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, having consumed the least. There is a stable increase in the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
following a healthy diet until 2006 whereby the increasing trend finishes.
Thus
, the most noticeable trend is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
skyrocketed to a high of 35% in 2008 from 12% in 2001 for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
slipped back to 30% in 2007 and 29% in 2008 for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

Specifically
, there is a sudden fluctuation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from 2003 to 2008. The difference in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
marginally
constant whereas that of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
has undergone variation.
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IELTS academic Describe chart which shows percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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