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The diagram below shows the stages in the processing if cocoa beans. Write a report for university lecturer giving information.

The diagram below shows the stages in the processing if cocoa beans. Write a report for university lecturer giving information. EpAbq
The thorough information in context with the steps involved in the processing of cocoa beans is portrayed by the rendered flow chart. To begin with, the procedure consists of three stages in all. In the initial step, the cocoa beans are picked from the tree. After that, the shells of the collected beans are removed. The whole beans are are sent for drying to use them in the further process. Once the drying is done, the beans are pressed in the first step of second stage. Subsequently, the beans are further pressed and refining is done to purify the beans. The pressed beans are then utilised for making cocoa cake, whereas the refined beans are used to make industrial chocolate by adding sugar to it. Taking rest of the steps into consideration, the cocoa cake is ground to produce two products and consequently, cocoa powder and cocoa liquor are obtained. The industrial chocolate is then sent for final processing that is being utilised to get finished chocolate products. In the last step. The cocoa powder is sent to be sold in the market for consumers whilst cocoa liquor is used in industry for production of cakes and drinks. On the other hand, the chocolate products are directly sent for consumption purposes. On the whole, it is immediately apparent from chart that all the included steps in the procedure are mandatory. The omission of any single step would halt the whole process.
The thorough information in context with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
involved in the processing of cocoa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
is portrayed
by the rendered flow chart.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the procedure consists of three stages in all. In the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, the cocoa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are picked
from the tree. After that, the shells of the collected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are removed
. The whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
Possible typo: you repeated a word
are are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for drying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them in the
further
process. Once the drying
is done
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are pressed
in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
of second stage.
Subsequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are
further
pressed and refining
is done
to purify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
. The pressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are then
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for making cocoa cake, whereas the refined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
industrial chocolate by adding sugar to it.

Taking rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
into consideration, the cocoa cake
is ground
to produce two products and
consequently
, cocoa powder and cocoa liquor
are obtained
. The industrial chocolate is then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for final processing
that is
being
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
finished chocolate products. In the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
. The cocoa powder is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
be sold
in the market for consumers whilst cocoa liquor is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in industry for production of cakes and drinks.
On the other hand
, the chocolate products are
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for consumption purposes.

On the whole
, it is immediately apparent from chart that all the included
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
in the procedure are mandatory. The omission of any single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
would halt the whole process.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the stages in the processing if cocoa beans. Write a report for university lecturer giving information.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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