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The bar graph shows the spending of money on pension, educational books and medical care from year 2001 to 2021

The bar graph shows the spending of money on pension, educational books and medical care from year 2001 to 2021 BMEy9
The statistical information in context with the amount of money invested in education, medical care and pension in the year 2001 and projections for 2051 in a specific nation is depicted by the rendered poly linear graph. At a fleeting glance, the most eye catching feature of the graph is that in a particular country the spending on pension facility is predicted to be highest in the year 2051. However, the investment on pension showed an intermediate trend over two decades from year 2001 to the current year 2021 that is 6 percent. The amount of money spent on medical care facilities showed a slight surge from about 11 percent in the year 2001 to 12 percent in the following year. Observing further, the investment on medical care is projected to show a downward trend till year 2051, reaching at 4 percent only. Moreover, the money spent on educational books plummeted to 14 percent in the year 2021. After that, it is estimated that investment on educational books may show a constant trend till 2051 in a particular country. Overall, it is inferred from the graph that the spending on pension facilities is predicted to be at a surge in upcoming decades, however the amount of money to be spent on other facilities may follow a declining trend.
The statistical information in context with the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
invested in education, medical care and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2001 and projections for 2051 in a specific nation
is depicted
by the rendered
poly
linear graph.

At a fleeting glance, the most
'eye catching' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "eye-catching".
eye catching
feature of the graph is that in a particular country the spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
facility
is predicted
to be highest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2051.
However
, the investment on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an intermediate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
over two decades from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2001 to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2021
that is
6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent on medical care facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a slight surge from about 11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2001 to 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in the following year.

Observing
further
, the investment on medical care
is projected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a downward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
till
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2051, reaching at 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent on educational books plummeted to 14
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2021. After that, it
is estimated
that investment on educational books may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
till 2051 in a particular country.

Overall
, it
is inferred
from the graph that the spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
facilities
is predicted
to be at a surge in upcoming decades,
however
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
be spent
on other facilities may follow a declining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
.
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows the spending of money on pension, educational books and medical care from year 2001 to 2021

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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