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The diagram below shows the production of olive oil.

The diagram below shows the production of olive oil. Ajp7e
The given diagram depicts the manufacturing of olive oil. The process consists of seven stages. First of all, olives are picked from the olive tree which is followed by rinsing them in cold water. Further, the rinsed olives are passed on a belt which takes them for smashing. During the smashing activity the stones are separated from the olive paste. The next step is to fill the olive paste in a bag with several holes. After that, the bag is taken for pressing down. Then after, the procedure of dividing water and oil is carried out. In the final stage, the oil is stored and filled in bottles which are eventually ready for sale. Overall, the method of extracting olive oil from the collected olives is quite fascinating as it comprises of various stages and equipment’s that perform particular operations.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram depicts the manufacturing of olive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
. The process consists of seven stages.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
olives
are picked
from the olive tree which
is followed
by rinsing them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
water.
Further
, the rinsed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
olives
are passed
on a belt which takes them for smashing. During the smashing activity the stones
are separated
from the olive paste. The
next
step is to fill the olive paste in a bag with several holes. After that, the bag
is taken
for pressing down. Then after, the procedure of dividing water and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
is carried
out. In the final stage, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
is stored
and filled in bottles which are
eventually
ready for sale.
Overall
, the method of extracting olive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
from the collected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
olives
is quite fascinating as it
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of"?
comprises of
various stages and equipment’s that perform particular operations.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the production of olive oil.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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