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The diagram below shows the production of electricity using a system called Ocean Thermal Energy Conversion (OTEC).

Information about production of electricity through a system named OTEC (Ocean Thermal Energy Conversion) is provide by the diagram. Firstly, the energy of the sun warms the upper sea water. This heated water is evaporated inside an evaporation chamber, transforming the water into vapour, and leaving all the salt in a different container. Then the salt pass through a square tube, which is combined with cold water from the sea, so it can be discarded in the ocean again. Secondly, the evaporated water in the chamber soar into a tube with a turbine, where electricity emerges. Also, the vapoured water flows through the tube and gets to a second chamber, that condense this vapour in order to develop pure water. Finally, in this chamber the process is opposite to the first chamber, as in here the vapour is converted into water which is suitable to be drunk. Overall, the process to create electricity from the ocean water and also develop drinking water from it is a complex procedure done by a machine thanks to the solar energy, where the water passes trough the stages of vapour (by evaporation) and drinking water (by condensation).
Information about production of electricity through a system named
Possible spelling mistake found.
OTEC
(Ocean Thermal Energy Conversion) is
Consider using either the past participle “provided” or the present participle “providing” here.
provide
by the diagram.

Firstly
, the energy of the sun warms the upper sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. This heated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is evaporated
inside an evaporation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chamber
, transforming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
into
Possible spelling mistake. ‘vapour’ is British English.
vapour
, and leaving all the salt in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
container. Then the salt pass through a square tube, which
is combined
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
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water
from the sea,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can
be discarded
in the ocean again.

Secondly
, the evaporated
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water
in the
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chamber
soar into a tube with a turbine, where electricity emerges.
Also
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
vapoured
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water
flows through the tube and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
to a second
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chamber
, that condense this
Possible spelling mistake. ‘vapour’ is British English.
vapour
in order to develop pure water.

Finally
, in this
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chamber
the process is opposite to the
first
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chamber
, as in here the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘vapour’ is British English.
vapour
is converted
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
which is suitable to
be drunk
.

Overall
, the process to create electricity from the ocean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and
also
develop drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
from it is a complex procedure done by a machine thanks to the solar energy, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
passes
Did you mean the preposition “through” (e.g. “walk through a door”)?
trough
the stages of
Possible spelling mistake. ‘vapour’ is British English.
vapour
(by evaporation) and drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
(by condensation).
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the production of electricity using a system called Ocean Thermal Energy Conversion (OTEC).

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
193 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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