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the diagram below shows the process of using water to generate electricity for human use.

the diagram below shows the process of using water to generate electricity for human use. 0Ggl
The diagram depicts the pictorial representation of the hydro-electric power generation process. The power generation process begins with the evaporation process. Owing to the sun, seawater is evaporated and convert in to rain in different places. The rainwater is stored in the reservoir. Moreover, to generate electricity, The government makes a dam on the reservoir. Furthermore, water is transferred to the turbine which produces electricity. After that, water is pumped back to the reservoir through the pump. To control water flow, the valve is placed between the dam and turbine. After generating electricity, it is supplied to the transformer station with help of high voltage cables. At the transformer station, electricity is divided for domestic and industrial purposes and it is distributed to different places like hospitals, schools, houses and industries. Overall, hydro-electric power generation is depended on water. Additionally, it is a renewable and environment reliable power source.
The diagram depicts the pictorial representation of the hydro-electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
generation process. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
generation process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with the evaporation process. Owing to the sun, seawater
is evaporated
and convert in to rain in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places. The rainwater
is stored
in the reservoir.
Moreover
, to generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a dam on the reservoir.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is transferred
to the turbine which produces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
. After that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is pumped
back to the reservoir through the pump. To control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
flow, the valve
is placed
between the dam and turbine. After generating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
, it
is supplied
to the transformer station with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of high voltage cables. At the transformer station,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
is divided
for domestic and industrial purposes and it
is distributed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places like hospitals, schools,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and industries.
Overall
, hydro-electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
generation 
is depended
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
Additionally
, it is a renewable and environment reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
source.

IELTS academic the diagram below shows the process of using water to generate electricity for human use.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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