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The charts below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton university in 2019 entering different employment sectors.

The charts below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton university in 2019 entering different employment sectors. mle8
The given pie chart depicts the information about the graduate students of Brighton university in 2019, who involved in different working sections after completing the study of university. It is clearly seen that, there was several employment and job sectors for graduate pupils. The more learners of university were attracting in service industries was almost 33. 0%. About half of numbers 16. 3% students were took jobs in manufacturing industries. Consequently, politics and government were next most popular choice nearly 12. 1% learners went into this department of jobs. Nextly, education was significant career option for individual was about 14. 7% Furthermore, virtually 5. 6 % choices in civil services and 2. 8% with other. Another one was science and technology with 7. 3%and two others transportation and warehouse were involved approximately 7. 8% tutees. Overall, the least preferred career options were charity and sport only 0. 3% and 0. 1% graduate people were chosen this works.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie chart depicts the information about the graduate students of Brighton university in 2019, who involved in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
working sections after completing the study of university.

It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, there was
Possible agreement error. The noun employment seems to be uncountable; consider using: "some employment".
several employment
and job sectors for graduate pupils. The more learners of university were attracting in service industries was almost 33. 0%. About half of numbers 16. 3% students were took jobs in manufacturing industries.
Consequently
, politics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
were
next
Did you mean "the most"?
most
popular choice
nearly
12. 1% learners went into this department of jobs.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nextly
, education was significant career option for individual was about 14. 7%

Furthermore
,
virtually
5. 6 % choices in civil services and 2. 8% with other. Another one was science and technology with 7. 3%and two others transportation and warehouse
were involved
approximately 7. 8%
Possible spelling mistake found.
tutees
.

Overall
, the least preferred career options were charity and sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
0. 3% and 0. 1% graduate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were chosen
this works.

IELTS academic The charts below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton university in 2019 entering different employment sectors.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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